"How do you respond to expectations?"
This is a question I've been pondering a lot recently. With normalcy gone like the wind, we're all developing and managing new expectations for ourselves and for others.
This weekend I went to an outdoor dinner (my first major outing since March!) and the inevitable face mask debate came up. My brain immediately jumped to Gretchen Rubin's The Four Tendencies, a framework that measures how we respond to expectations - and how that framework applies to character analysis in acting class.
Though not designed for actors, actors can use this framework to analyze a script and to better understand character (ahem, human) behavior.
"One of the daily challenges of life is: ‘How do I get people—including myself—to do what I want?’” says Rubin. "The Four Tendencies framework makes this task much easier by revealing whether a person is an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel."
The Four Tendencies is a framework that looks at one small slice of humanity - how we respond to internal and external expectations. If you know what motivates you, then you will have an easier time managing expectations, whether they are created by yourself or others. Knowing your tendency allows you to design a life that aligns with your truest desires.
What do you really want?
This is acting 101. When an actor steps onstage, she enters the scene with an objective - to get another character to say or do something specific.
The actor employs a tactic, fully expecting that strategy to work. If it doesn’t, she must pivot and try something new to elicit the desired response from her scene partner.
The same is true in life. We try different tactics to get what we want.
And if we are on the receiving end of an expectation, either internal or external? How do we respond, and what motivates us to follow-through?
Consider the following abridged exchange from the Lerner and Loewe musical My Fair Lady, adapted from George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion.
ELIZA: I've come to have lessons, I have. And to pay for them, too, make no mistake.
HIGGINS: What do you expect me to say?
ELIZA: If you was a gentleman, you might ask me to sit down, I think. Don't I tell you I'm bringing you business?
HIGGINS: Pickering, shall we ask this baggage to sit down, or shall we throw her out of the window ... Sit down.
ELIZA: Oh you're going to make a compliment of it...
HIGGINS: Sit down.
PICKERING: What is your name?
ELIZA: Eliza Doolittle.
PICKERING: Won't you please sit down, Miss Doolittle?
ELIZA: Oh, I don't mind if I do.
Eliza wants to sit down - at least she wants Higgins to invite her to sit - but she initially resists his command. It is Colonel Pickering’s tactic, an appeal to her identity and her expectation to be treated like lady, that finally motivates her to sit.
Within the context of Rubin's Four Tendencies framework, Eliza appears to be a rebel at heart.
By identifying a character’s tendency, the actor develops a deeper understanding of what makes the character tick - what inspires action or provokes resistance throughout the play.
"This self-knowledge is crucial because we can build a happy life only on the foundation of our own nature, our own interests, and our own values,” Rubin says in The Four Tendencies.
Since art mirrors life, every moment in our offstage lives contains wants and expectations, as well. We can use the knowledge of our tendency to motivate ourselves to act and to appeal to other people’s tendencies.
"When we consider the Four Tendencies, we're better able to understand people,” Rubin says. “Understanding the Four Tendencies gives us a richer understanding of the world."
Greater understanding of other people - and of our shared humanity - leads to empathy. Empathy is what theatre is all about. And wouldn’t bounteous empathy be a wonderful thing?
Take the Four Tendencies Quiz to learn your tendency. Are you an actor working on a role? Take it again from your character's perspective! Share what you discover in the comments below!
